#my only other time before this riding in a wheelchair accessible car was the cop car LMFAO

[trans-axolotl]

Took my first Uber in a wheelchair accessible van and it is SO nice to be able to stay in my chair and not have to take it apart and then wrestle with it when I’m getting out and finding a sidewalk and everything this is so nice!! I didn’t even know uber had wheelchair accessible vans

[ss-squad-au-real-world-stories]

Ch. 3

The following storyline is one big roller coaster ride of emotions. It will have its ups and it will have its downs. It will have its OMG moments and cliffhangers. Lots of cliffhangers (how else do you expect me to keep ya coming back?) there will be angst, drama, action, mystery, and possible love. Not sure on that yet, we’ll see where it goes.    I will do my best to keep the language down. I’m not fond of using the F’ bomb, but words like bitch and asses may be tossed around. That’s about the most of it, but nothing too profane. I know that some of ya’s are under 18. So as to not get myself or you in too much trouble, I’ll do my best to keep the language in check.  Just know that this story is all over the place and you read at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

The next morning Logan’s phone rang startling the three friends awake. He looked to see who it was and saw that it was the hospital.

           “Hello?”

           “Hey Logan,” It was Virgil, he gave a small sigh of relief and listened. “The doc just got done looking me over and said I can go home. Can you come and get me?”

           “Yea, sure. We’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”

           “Ok. Thanks”

When they got to the hospital, they found a crowd of people with cameras out front. “Aren’t those the reporters from last night?” whispered Patton into Logan’s ear. Logan nodded “Maybe we should try a different entrance.” They walked in behind where the ambulance doors were. A nurse approached them.

           “Sorry boys, only ambulance victims through these doors.” She said with her arms spread. Roman smiled at her. “Fair lady, we have a friend upstairs who is to be released today and the crowd of reporters out front, we fear are for him. He was the drowning victim that was brought in yesterday. Could you please bend the rules today and allow us access in and out this way? Just this once please?”

           Another woman approached them “It’s ok Cindy, I know them, Logan isn’t it?” Logan nodded his head. “Yes, mam.” She smiled at him. “Let me get a guard to guide you in and out of the hospital.”

           “Thank you, that would be most appreciated.”

            Virgil smiled at them as they walked in, a nurse was bandaging his arm where the iv had been. Roman entered last pushing a wheelchair, “Your chariot young lord.” He smiled.  Virgil shook his head and let out a small laugh as he climbed into the wheelchair. He pointed towards the door. “Home Jeeves.” Roman pushed him out of the room.

           “I don't ever want to be in another hospital again. I just want to get home and go to sleep.” Said, Virgil, as he was being pushed down the hall.

“What? Why? It couldn't have been that bad.” Asked Roman.

“The nurses kept coming in and checking my vitals. I hardly got any sleep, unlike you.” He complained.

Logan let out a small laugh, “I beg to differ. Your health and wellbeing kept us up all night.”      

Patton pushed the elevator button and looked at Virgil. “What Logan said! Also, I'm afraid that going straight home is out of the question, we have a full day ahead of us.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Why?” They entered the elevator. “We need to go to the courthouse and see about helping Devleon out.” Replied Patton.

“Ungh. Fine, but first can I get some real food?” whined Virgil. Patton smiled, “Sure! Where do you want to go?” Virgil closed his eyes in thought, “How about the Tiny Turtle, I could really go for one of their Ocean Wraps.” The elevator doors opened, and they got off “Anything for you kiddo!” smiled Patton.

They thanked the guard for letting them exit out the ambulance doors. They started to head for the car, Virgil saw a flash of light off to his left. It was a man holding a camera, the man took another picture of them. “Hey BARB! He’s exiting out the Ambulance doors!" The next thing they knew, there was a flood of reports heading their way with camera's flashing and people calling out to Virgil and his friends.

As the reporters shouted and asked questions, Virgil, sunk into his hoodie. He started hyperventilating and Patton knew that if he didn't get him out of there quick Virgil would have a full-on panic attack. Patton grabbed Roman’s arm and hissed into his ear “Do something!” Roman gave a quick nod and held up his hands to draw everyone’s attention to himself.

“Would you all like to know the actual story of what happened to my friend and why we went to rescue the fair Virgil?!” All the camera’s turned to him and he started talking about the past events while Patton and Logan snuck off with a panic-stricken Virgil.

Once in the car, Patton held Virgil tight and got him to do his breathing exercises. A few moments passed and Roman hopped quickly into the car “Drive and don't stop!” He shouted. Logan drove away surprisingly fast and wild. It was the first time the other three were honestly very terrified for their life.  

After a few moments of the wild ride, Patton was the first to speak up “Logan, we're not in a car chase. So, if you would, please drive a bit saner before I get sick or a cop pulls us over.”

Logan’s eyes went wide, and he slowed down “Right, sorry fellas. Guess I got a bit carried away; what with all that action and Roman springing into the car like that. My adrenaline was a bit on the high side there. By the way Roman, why did I have to peel out like that?”

“Once I was done clarifying the story to them about what happened, they started to ask questions about Dev and what would happen to him, to which I couldn’t answer and when no comment wasn’t enough for them, I just bolted for the safety of a clean getaway. Which Logan supplied nicely, I might add.” Replied Roman, patting Logan on the arm. He then turned back and looked at Virgil. “Hey bud, you ok? I’m sure that wasn’t what you were expecting to get greeted by. After spending a night in the hospital.”

Virgil shook his head “I had a feeling something might happen, but no not like that. What I mean is, I watched the news last night and how they said that Dev tried to kill me, by replaying that stupid video repeatedly on all four news channels, but for some reason, I feel like he really wasn’t.”

Patton shifted uncomfortably in his seat “He wasn’t, he claims it was just a joke and that he didn’t know you couldn’t swim, for if he had, he wouldn’t have done that.”

“Logan do you think we can stop by the courthouse, so I can talk to them about Dev and his situation.” Asked Virgil.

“Sure, but what if those reporters who were at the hospital go there next?”

Virgil stared out the window shivering at the thought. Roman snapped his fingers “I’ve got an idea! We'll dress up in disguises!! It'll be like a Disney original movie! I already have so many ideas!”

“Then back to the house then?” asked Logan.

“No, to the THEATER!” replied Roman dramatically.

@thatsthat24 @thejoanglebook @tallykat3  @oresamawesome @immacrazyfangirl @anxietystatement @bunny222 @wooflesthatwoof @wicked-rosie @tsfanart @anxiousangelvirgil @iris-sanders-athena @randomslasher @youtuberswithalex @just-an-anxious-mess @ts-storytime @lilkrazykat 

[batshitbetty-blog1]

Multicontinental Madness

Fucked up dream time! 

This one's a wild ride, so hold on to your hats. It starts with me in London, checking into a hotel.  That goes well enough, but then I'm given complex instructions on how to get to my room.  Apparently in this hotel, the elevators only run between one floor and the next, and you have to switch elevators on every floor as you go up.  Of course, the elevators aren't centrally located, so you have to tour each floor before you can move up.

In my wanderings, I passed a floor with a tropical "natural" pool, including a bar halfway in, on one floor.  The next floor was a massive library with rooms around the edges.  Then came the "roof," even though it was stacked in the middle of all the floors.  Somehow the sky above was open and the sun was shining, regardless of the fact that it wasn't actually the roof of the building.

The next floor was a labyrinth of thin hallways with evenly spaced shower heads, most of which were in use by other hotel patrons.  I wound my way through it looking for the next elevator, and eventually rounded a corner and came face to face with a naked guy who, in spite of having a gym-toned body, looked incredibly insecure being naked in a maze full of other naked people. 

I decided it was incumbent upon me to boost his confidence, so I nudged him backwards with several shoves on the chest, dragging my luggage behind me the whole way, until he was backed up against a sink.  I then manhandled him in some way, but I couldn't tell you how because the dream actually went fuzzy while this was going on, like blocked porn on a hotel TV in the 90s.

This led to me being kicked out by a bellboy.  I managed to find a taxi, and when the driver asked me where I was headed, I told him I didn't know and explained what had just happened.  He nodded sagely and told me this particular hotel was known for that, and that the guy I'd manhandled was actually a hotel employee whose job it was to roam around that floor in the buff to trap patrons into acting inappropriately.  

The driver decided to help me out and called the hotel, using the voice of the front desk clerk, and explained that my ban had been lifted and I was to be allowed to check into my room as planned.  He refused to take any money from me, saying it was only the right thing to do in response to the hotel's unethical business practices.

Knowing all this didn't stop me from repeating this cycle with the same dude on the same floor and getting kicked out three more times.   Somehow, each time I got booted, the driver was still there.  He'd sigh, call the hotel, and pretend to be someone of increasing importance to get me back in, generally by pointing out that I had done the responsible thing and fuzzed out my interactions with the hotel's boy toy to avoid directly offending any other patrons.

When that cycle ended, I found myself in a huge building that was a cross between a shopping mall and Hogwarts.  I had been brought in as part of a special tour and presentation to the kids who, depending on which section they belonged to, were either students of the school or the children of shopping parents who had been dropped off at day care.   There were to be three different groups of kids seeing the presentation that day, and we were just getting the first underway. 

The tour included a look into several classrooms and shops, and was interrupted by a random staircase flood.  We were advised to stand at the outside edge of the staircase to avoid the water.  I managed to stand on the wrong side for long enough to get soaked from the waist down, but after I moved to the right side, some guy from up ahead came crashing down in a wave of water and profanity. The tour ended up back at the day care center, where all the adults present were supposed to teach the kids about certain concepts they'd use at some point in their future lives. 

I noticed then that there were more adults than I had thought there would be, and enjoyed knowing that I'd be spending less time talking with all the extra people.  The facilitator came around and handed me an otherworldly-long clipboard.   In exchange, I rooted around in my pocket and came up with a used handkerchief to give her.  She seemed pleased to get it - she wasn't in any way grossed out over it. She then asked me to explain the concept of an equitable transaction to the kids. 

I pointed out to them that she had given me a clipboard and I had, in turn, given her the contents of my nose.  We had both gotten something we were pleased with out of the deal.  Therefore, the transaction was equitable.

As we were gearing up for round two, the dream shifted again.  I was back home this time, just coming home after a day at some unspecified job.  The neighbor's portion of the duplex was on fire, so I had to park up the street and walk a bit to get home.  (No, it didn't bother me that the building I lived in was on fire.  It seemed logical in this dream that the fire would respect the boundaries of property ownership.)

Oh, and I was naked. With nothing but a plastic shopping bag to preserve my modesty, I legged it up the street and into my house.  On climbing the stairs, I found that, while I was gone, Mom and a couple of her sisters (who I didn't recognize at all) had completely remodeled the second floor of the house.  They made judicious use of the theory behind Pratchett's L Space, because the inside was now several times larger than the outside. 

The whole area had been redone in dark wood and my bedroom now occupied an L-shape at the front of the house. I kicked everybody out so I could get dressed privately, even though I no longer had a closet.  Then I wandered into my bathroom to pee, and found that it had been redone in such a way that different objects somehow occupied the same space at the same time. 

The sink was now in a little cubby on its own.  My toiletries were stored behind the mirror in a cabinet that could only be opened by properly twisting one of several coat hooks mounted on the glass.  Next to it - at first glance, anyway - were two toilets.  One looked like it had been ripped out of a wheelchair accessible stall in a hideous public bathroom, and the other looked like something out of the future that I was afraid to touch because what if it came with the three shells I never bothered to learn how to use?

The bathtub was new and much bigger, with three different drains and several jets.  I tried running the faucet just to watch it in action and it suddenly started leaking rust from a tiny, uncaulked bit on the back side, so I turned it off.  I also found a light that delayed for a minute or so before turning on after the switch was flipped.

So I got situated and started to pee, when I hear a voice to my left talking to me.  Not only did someone shove the door open to talk to me while I pissed, but - of course - it turned out to be the naked guy from the London hotel, only with clothes on this time.  I don't remember what we talked about, but damn if it - both the conversation and the stream of urine - didn't go on for a very awkward length of time.

Finally done with the bathroom, I wandered out, only to see that where the toilets had once been there was now a set of shelves.  On those shelves was about a six year supply of loofahs, all of which carried different scents.  I raised an eyebrow and left the room. Then I found out that Mom had also upgraded our internet package while I was gone, and it needed to be set up.  She also handed me a "savings card" the cable company had given her to go along with the new service and asked if it was worth keeping.  I read about it, and found that for the low price of $48.00 a month, we could get a statement credit of $16.85 once every two years.  I threw the thing in the trash.

I suddenly remembered I'd left my car up the street and left to go get it now that the fire department and whoever else was out of the way.  On the way out through the garage, I saw that Mom had upgraded her car.   It was still an SUV, but now it was black and looked like something you'd expect to see the A Team rolling around in if they were a bunch of soccer moms in a Batman movie. As I'm walking up the street, I realize in a flash that Cami and Quincee have gone missing, so I fished their collars and leashes out of one of my pockets and start the hunt. 

Before long, I run into a street urchin who asks what kind of dogs I'm missing.  When I tell him they're a couple of yellow labs, he points to a tent on a street corner a bit up the street, where the girls are rooting through people's food.   Oh.  And Quincee, for some reason, is now a German shepherd. They're madly excited to see me, and in my haste to get them home I slip the wrong collar on the wrong dog. 

This apparently signals to them that it's time to go on an adventure, as they take off like sled dogs, dragging me along behind like I'm on a sled.  Suddenly we're in San Francisco, and I can't get the girls to direct themselves toward home. I lose them again, me and the street urchin running madly behind them.

We caught up with them under a bridge, where they were being chased in a circle by a cop on a motorbike.  Cami finally turns and jumps up to shove the cop off his bike, and then both dogs leap over construction mess to be intercepted by a couple of frat boys on bicycles.  The frat boys catch them and give the leashes back to me, and then we're off on another wild ride. They end up rounding a corner and flying down a massive staircase toward the beach.

This is when I woke up, probably because there was no way in hell the imaginary sled I was stuck to would survive a trip down that incredibly long, steep staircase. Been a while since I've had a dream like this.  What I lack in quantity, I make up for in quality.